japan: Day Five

Hello.

Currently, we're at Day 5, Japan.
I'll start off by saying that this day is probably not going to be as pervy as I said in the last post. I'll keep this post on track today.


It starts off with Andy asking us if we've seen Memoirs of Geisha.

We say "No.........we're not ghey."







Then after 4 minutes of awkward silence, Andy says, "... because we're going to visit the place that was in that movie..."








( jeremy farts..)


















Then we get ready.



Today, we are going to visit the Tori Gates at Fushimi Inari-taisha, Kyoto.
Andy says its this really nice place where there are a ton of gates, like 100,000 even. And its in like a nice scenic park.


We head downstairs and outside into the MUSTY ass heat trap that Japan calls "Summer."

Seriously, I don't even think it was this bad in the Philippines.



Anyways.






As we're walking towards the Train Station, we see these awesome chairs.








Whats so awesome is their size.




I guess in that picture it looks normal.












Here, let me illustrate....







Awesome, right?





Back to our trip.....

We get on the train and Jeremy is amazed at my finger skill....




We get to Kyoto, and get our mandatory water bottles for the day. While at the convenience store, Lloyd lays the "A" game on this unsuspecting chick. Seriously, the poor girl never had a chance...

He proceeds to tell her, " Kawaii des ne??" (aren't you cute???)
" DO - YOU - KNOW - WHERE - THE - TORII - GATES - ARE ???? "

Girl: " Yes."

(points right behind us...)


Lloyd: " OH...."

Lloyd: " DO - YOU - KNOW - WHERE - THE - BAWAH - IS ?? " (bar)

Girl: " Whats, 'bawah' ?"

Lloyd: .....


Girl: .....


Lloyd:... " LETS TAKE A PICTURE!!!!"





This is what was right behind us.


The MAIN gate






Andy exclaiming, " Follow me, I know the way..."



**Lets take a minute to remember this moment. *** (It'll be important later)







remember it?




K.





Moving on....

Here's Andy feeding us more lies about the Gates...

Andy: " Here's where the evil spirits would gather and....."


....




.....














Andy's lies and deception aside, this place is actually quite beautiful.

Its crazy to think someone took the time to build these gates here for the purpose of......




....i'm not sure why they built it.





But that doesn't matter.




What matters is its really nice.





We walk a little further down the peaceful pathway.
Its quite relaxing actually.




So zen.















And then we get to this.





STAIRS.





WTF.

"nice scenic park" my ass....






Its 100 degrees with 110% Humidity.







FUCK.



Oh well. It can't be helped.

So we climb.




Andy cries.






But why the fuck is Lloyd crying...



Wtf is he pointing at?


OIC.


Dead cat.




So I guess we get the genius idea to climb all the way to the top.

Yea, its basically this.


Sort of...



Anyways,



If i had video uploaded, I would post the one where it shows us midway up this mountain, and we are almost dead.

Then an elderly couple passes us in the background, strolling up this mountain...NO SWEAT.

Literally, i mean , NO sweat.


Meanwhile, i'm over here dripping BUCKETS of Ryan juice.







In anycase, lets skip ahead about 30 minutes....



We're at the top.





And what is there at the top?






A pool?




Half nekkid Girls?






NOPE.




NOTHING.













well....

There was this



Look Hard.

That is quite possibly THE ONLY Gatorade in all of Japan.




7-11, AM PM, Family Mart, Lawsons........ NO ONE Has fucking Gatorade.



Whatever.

That Pocari Sweat jumpoff held me down.



Still cool to actually find a Gatorade tho. Just sucks we had to climb a fucking mountain to find it....




So we proceed to head back down this thing and we follow Andy.




**** As a side note, to those who don't know the wonder that is Andy Meichtry, he is probably most known for his "shortcuts." Every time we take one of his "shortcuts" it usually ends up taking longer than the normal way, or we end up getting lost. ****



What is supposed to happen is, we follow the gates up the Mountain, and then, we follow the gates DOWN the mountain.


Easy right?







So where are we?

Oh look...



NO FUCKING GATES.









awesome.







Oh and did you hear that?


Yea. that was THUNDER.








Lost in the forest of Kyoto, in basketball shorts and a white tee.
With a storm getting closer and closer.




This is how scary movies start.









So we start bookin it down this dirt path way that we find ourselves on
and eventually it leads to some ones back yard basicallly.

Weird, I know.


But we end up in this neighborhood and we're walking down the street......

And in the background, the clouds above us get Darker and closer.




More thunder.






More Lightning.







Lloyd pees his pants.











Then Andy asks some lady on the street where the train station is....

She tells him.



And we go.




But as we're walking/running , the STORM hits.



So we duck into some outside garage thing.




We stay here for a bit and Jeremy steals some poor guy's umbrella.


Turns out he doesn't even need it.


We eventually hail down a taxi and head towards the train station, where luckily for us, it goes straight to Osaka.




We get on and are just thankful we got there right when the storm started getting bad.




Lloyd being an sneaky undercover perv...




Lloyd falling in love. again.



hard to see, but here's a better one.





Now, We get to a stop and we wait there for a while. Its not our stop for another 9-13 or so stops.

We wait.







then wait some more.







then wait even more.







Now, I'm there thinking, "great, some asshole decides to commit suicide just when I'M on the train."





And while thinking this, I look up , and the sky is fucking black.


Its only about 4pm.



And it looks like night time.


Except with RAIN, THUNDER and then LIGHTNING.



Its fucking pouring at that point.






After a couple of hours, the rain eases up a bit.
And luckily for us, our train seems to be one of the only ones that is about to leave.


This results in a massive influx of people rushing our train.




I get lost from my party.



I have no idea who that guy is next to me is, or why he's looking at our camera.


but I should have stabbed him.


or at least groped him.




(2 hours later...)


We get home finally.



And we get to rika's favorite spot, sans rika.

We lost a lot of calories today, so I ordered what I should have ordered the first time we came here.

The LocoMoco.



Ground beef patty on a bed of rice and greens, topped with a sunny side egg and mango salsa.






So satisfying.



We head out and decide to chill at home and drink.
So we head to the market and pick up some stuff to imbibe.

Some interesting things I saw.

Wine or Milk?



Biscoti Cookies and Cream liqueur?



Yogurt Alcohol?




Leaving the market, I saw this awesome poster...




OH, I WILL.




I WILL......






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Day 5 done.

Pretty straight forward.
Climbed mountain, Got lost, Ate dinner, DONE.


Next?

Day 6.

Ebisubashi Bridge.